What is NLP and How Does it Work?

June 27, 2023

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min read

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Have you been curious about pursuing additional coaching modalities to better support your clients navigate behaviour change?

On the Making It Real Podcast, Kiki speaks with Teri Holland - an NLP Trainer, High Performance Coach and Speaker, to learn how Teri adopted NLP for her own healing, and now teaches it to others looking to transform themselves, as well as their own clients.

Here's the link Teri mentions on the show as a helpful visualization practice that you may want to share with those you work with (or simply enjoy for yourself!): https://www.teriholland.ca/idealday

Show Notes

5:21 - What is NLP?

NLP is neuro-linguistic programming. It’s how we communicate verbally and non-verbally. It's how we share our experience and how we label our world. It's also how we communicate with ourselves. It's the language of the mind.

It’s also the study of programming behavior. So what are those things that we're doing that either get us results or they're not getting us results? So that's the behavior piece. Very simply put NLP is the study of excellence.

6:38 - The attitude and methodology of neuro-linguistic programming

NLP's really an attitude and a methodology. When we look at another person, we can ask, “How is it that they do what they do? How do they create this behavior? How do they create this in their body?” The methodology is an art and a science. So there's the technique side of it.

“How is it that they do what they do? How do they create this behavior? How do they create this in their body?”

How do we use language? The very nature of the question causes you to think differently.

The linguistic side is about language and how we structure concepts and ideas in our mind. How we structure problems in our mind.

When you have a problem, you can only see from inside the problem, you can't see all the possibility outside the problem.

NLP is about breaking down those barriers around the problem so that a person can find solutions.

8:39 - How neuro-linguistic motivation can help improve client motivation for better outcomes

It comes down to focus. I wish I knew these things when I was a personal trainer, because I didn't understand why I would have one client who had come to me and they had all these lifestyle conditions and the doctor's telling them, "You have to change your health." And they're taking pills every day to stay alive. Maybe they've already even had a heart attack, or they've had some sort of an event that should wake them up. And they would come to me and they'd say, "I have to lose this weight for my health." And I would think, wow, this client needs to do this. And they'd be very motivated at the beginning. And then some point it starts to taper off and they would go back to their old behavior.

And I couldn't understand. Like, your life is on the line. Why aren't you more motivated? And then I would have say a woman come to me who would say, "I'm getting married next summer. I want to look phenomenal in my wedding dress and I will do whatever it takes. I will do the work to make sure that I look the way I want to look." And she would go through all the way to the end and she'd accomplished her goal. And I always thought that's so backwards. Why is she more motivated by a wedding dress than a person whose life is literally on the line? Why aren't they succeeding? And then I learned NLP. So it comes down to focus.

We either focus on what we want or we focus on what we don't want.

10:21 - Understanding why some people are motivated and why others aren’t.

Often, when people are facing lifestyle illnesses, when they don't feel well in their body, they're not moving well, maybe they have pain. Their motivation is very high when they're in pain, right? It's like being motivated by the carrot or the stick. So when they're motivated by the stick, they want to get away from the pain as quickly as possible. So that client will do everything possible at the beginning.

And then they start to feel better. So the pain isn't as high and they start to, and maybe they start seeing some results, their clothes fit better, their blood pressure's coming down. Their blood sugars are normalizing. They're starting to feel better. They're moving better. They have more energy. They're sleeping better. And their motivation keeps dropping and dropping and dropping, because the thing that motivated them is becoming less and less and less. So the further they come off the pain, the less motivated they are to keep moving forward.

Say they lose about 20 pounds or so. And they're feeling a lot better. People are noticing, and then they start doing things like, I can miss this. I can miss a workout this week. I worked out hard last week. If I have that cheeseburger tonight, I deserve it. I've earned it. I've worked so hard. And their behavior slowly starts to revert back to being their old way, because that's the only way they know how to get motivated.

13:05 - How Health Practitioners can motivate their clients

When you first meet with a client, find out what they want and listen to what they say. Often they'll say, "Well, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm just so tired. And I can't do this anymore. And I'm in pain and I have to get off these pills." And when you hear that they're focused on what they don't want.

What you want to hear is, "I want to feel really great. I want to be able to walk up my stairs without my knees hurting. I want to play with my grandkids and not be in pain, struggling. I want to play my favorite sport again. I want to run again." Those are all motivated towards what they want.

A mistake that a lot of practitioners make is they try to just change the language. So they'll say, "Well, don't say that."

It's not about just changing the words. The words are symbolic of what they're thinking, what they're feeling inside.

Use visualization with them. Help them intentionally spend time every day thinking about what they want, see it in their mind. See it clearly, hear any sounds that are present, make a full internal representation, using all of their senses of what it will be like when they have the life they want, when they're in the health that they want, when their body looks the way they want it to look, when it's moving the way they want to move, what will that be like?

And if you have them do that every single day over time, what that does is it's directing their unconscious mind towards what they want.

If you enjoyed this conversation and are interested in learning how to leverage the powers of NLP for your clients, be sure to head over to Teri Holland Co. to learn how you can become certified in NLP.